Category Archives: TRANSFORMING the conversation about pregnancy

Are pregnant women wimpy, bitchy, or outrageously inspiring?

Some women, when they become pregnant, are concerned about how others will view them as a pregnant woman. The truth is that the reactions that people have to pregnant women represent a wide range. Some people, unfortunately, may think that pregnant women are wimpy, overly dramatic, and operating at 75% work capacity. Others whole-heartedly believe…

Enjoying the journey

About six years ago, when I began contemplating the idea of becoming pregnant, I realized I had some pretty cynical thoughts and feelings about pregnancy. “Pregnancy doesn’t look fun at all,” I thought. “You get big, your ankles swell, your body is out of your control, and you can get special diseases!” I quickly realized…

Wanting to do it perfectly

Nichi is a doula and every time she witnessed another woman’s pregnancy or childbirth experience, she was busy creating an encyclopedia in her head. She’d think, “Note to self, don’t let this happen or make sure that you take care of yourself so you can avoid this or that.” Since she assumed she’d be pregnant again in…

What’s your perspective?

When I spoke with Leslie, she was a 44 year-old who had fairly recently got divorced. A life approach of Leslie’s was to make the next choice that worked for her. She continually asked herself, “If I could design it any way I wanted, what would I want?” So, when she was no longer in a…

Assuming I wasn’t going to be a nurturing mom

In my first pregnancy, I was terrified that I wasn’t going to be a nurturing mom. I was a type A personality bustling around, getting things done. There were times I needed to remind myself to stop and hug and make eye contact with my husband who just walked in the door, rather than continuing…

Thanking yourself…when others don’t or can’t

As a mom, you take care of a great many things. You hopefully get “Thank You”s from your children, your significant other, other moms, and/or your children’s teachers from time to time. And, regardless of whether you feel appropriately thanked and appreciated by others, I think the simple fact is that no one is ever…

THINGS PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW: #3. Don’t tell me how to feel!

As you’re pregnant and you’re dealing with a whole new view of your world and are, at times, struggling to keep up with your ever-changing thoughts and emotions; what you don’t need is for others to tell you how you should feel! Pregnant women have been told… “Don’t worry about it. Women have been doing…

Even though we now choose something different, it doesn’t mean our first choice was “wrong”

After the birth of her first child, Denise felt great about her choices, and, simultaneously, she wondered what else was possible. Her first birth experience was great. She had what she’d call a “regular” hospital delivery. She went with the standard protocols her doctor’s practice prescribed. It didn’t feel uncomfortable in the moment and upon…

Want to change how you feel? Then change how you’re thinking.

When some aspect of pregnancy is not going the way we’d like, often what comes to our attention first is a feeling – a feeling that we don’t enjoy. We start to feel anxious, conflicted, fearful, unsettled, or some other way that doesn’t feel good. When we notice these unwanted feelings, we can then consider:…

Learning we’re not in control

There are lessons pregnancy can provide in learning that we’re not in control. This was a major area of cynicism and concern for me before my first pregnancy. The loss of control I envisioned I’d experience nearly kept me from motherhood. I couldn’t imagine going into a pregnancy where I would most likely lose control…