Learning we’re not in control

There are lessons pregnancy can provide in learning that we’re not in control. This was a major area of cynicism and concern for me before my first pregnancy. The loss of control I envisioned I’d experience nearly kept me from motherhood. I couldn’t imagine going into a pregnancy where I would most likely lose control of my hormones and feel out of sorts and where my body was going to do its own thing and I could get “special” pregnancy diseases like gestational diabetes. I was overwhelmed by what was not going to be entirely in my control. My shoe size could change (what?!). Specific aspects of my pregnancy, that I definitely wanted to go a certain way, might not go that way. I might experience feelings and thoughts that seemed “unmotherly” or inappropriate. I know we’re never fully in control of what happens. However, during pregnancy, the lack of control seems so tangible and intensified.

And, I was someone who didn’t have a lot of first-hand experience with pregnancy. I can imagine for someone who does…it might be even more disconcerting that you can’t fully say how it will go. You have all this knowledge, either because you’ve been pregnant before or you’ve observed others or you’ve been trained as a doula or a medical professional in the field, and you’d want to be able to perfectly apply this knowledge so that nothing undesirable comes up! Otherwise, why have the knowledge? Well, what you clearly don’t know is exactly how this pregnancy is going to go for you. It’s out of your control. So, how do you deal with that?

Please join the conversation: What are your ideas? How do you feel good, peaceful, and “at choice” when you’re not necessarily in control?