Every woman has a different thoughts and rationale about when she’ll share the news that she’s pregnant.
Many don’t want to start telling others until after the likelihood of miscarriage is down to a really low probability because they think it’s a jinx or they worry about the possibility of having to tell all the people in our lives that they’ve lost the baby.
Others want to share with family and friends right away. Pay attention to yourself. Do what feels right and good for you. If it feels right to not share, don’t share. If you’re busting at the seams to share, shout it from the rooftops. And, you don’t have to have your rationale perfectly worked out. Your rationale doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else but you and your partner. You get to say what works for you.
Rebecca told her close friends and family about her pregnancies right away. She knew if she did have a miscarriage these were the people to whom she’d want to turn for support. So, Rebecca figured they might as will be along with her for the full journey. That’s what made sense to her.
For me, tradition had something to do with it. My husband and I didn’t tell most people until after the third month. That way, the first trimester had a different feel to it than the second trimester. In the first, we had our little, glorious secret. We were talking about what it meant to us and our immediate family. We were planning about how we’d tell others. We had the debate about finding out whether our baby was a girl or a boy. Baby names were kicked around. We talked about what kind of parents we wanted to be and how we needed to transform the house to fit another person. It was our time to be with each other and sort through our thoughts and feelings.
Another reason it worked for me to not tell everyone right away was a matter of timing. My pregnancy would seem longer if we told everyone right away! Nine months sounded so lengthy. I wanted to break it up, spread out the pregnancy milestones and experience three distinct trimesters. This, of course, did not actually make my pregnancy any shorter. Yet, it was part of my perspective about what worked best for me.
Your choice doesn’t have to be rational. And it doesn’t have to be consistent. You can do things differently in your second pregnancy if that’s what you feel like. You can change your mind half-way through your first trimester. Whatever works for you at this time is what is going to work for you!
When are you choosing (or did you choose) to share your news? Why does (did) that timing work for you?