Here’s the harsh truth. Before I became a mother, I wondered if it would be worth it. I was going to waddle around pregnant, painfully push them out of my body, and endure years when they will think I’m stupid and embarrassing. Who wants that?
Well, I want that! Pick me! I recently read an article from Mothering that shared a mother’s experience of watching the monks dump a mandala – a week’s worth of intense work – into the river. Here was her insight:
“I am a mother. I do this every single day. The monks dramatize my own life in its raw truth—that my children are not mine, that their lives are tenuous, that I can—and will—pour my lifeblood into them over and over, and then release them to the whims of the world. My children are the mandalas not of a week bent over in concentration, but of a lifetime bent over stewpots and scuffed hearts. What I do matters terribly. Who they become matters, to them, to me, and to the world that receives their shining gifts, or the weight of their troubles. Building a centered home inside of them, a colorful and joyful temple, can only be accomplished by me giving myself completely, if imperfectly.”
This is an excerpt from: http://mothering.com/articles/body_soul/inspiration/mandalas.html
I so got what she was saying. As parents, we angst over things that our children, neighbors, and even our parents are never going to know we considered. And – I can honestly say – in any given number of moments every day (when she learned to blow her new train whistle today, when he took off his own hat this morning) that it is worth it!!
Please join the conversation: How “worth it” is it for you to be a parent (or to do anything that you care about in life)? What challenges you and how do you know it’s worth it?
Is it worth it?
A little over a year ago I was present for the birth of my first grandaughter. In those first moments, captivated by the miracle of birth, 30 year old memories surfaced – I knew it was worth it!
Watching my daughter care for her baby girl inspires a jumble of awe and humility and makes me think of my own Mom and her Mother and her Mother before her . . .
We’re never sure in the throes of things what’s right, what’s wrong, what will stick, what will be forgotten. We have to trust our instincts! So much initial passion and conviction can disipate as we juggle responsibilities and navigate the years of adolescence when we often wring our hands in bewilderment.
My daughter is an extraordinary Mom! My Mom is an extraordinary Great Grandmother! I watch Shanti enjoy her little girl and I know that I must have done something right along the way.
At the ripe old age of 60, as a grandma myself now, I gratefully acknowledge and honor the women in my life who love(d) me, who guided the innate development of “instinct” that never lets me down, who taught me to listen and to trust that inner voice.
It’s beautiful Joan. You are great at following your instinct.
I am a mother of 2 grown children and a grandmother of 5. For those of you who work full time jobs and don’t get to spend all day with your children, enjoy and relish the time you do have with them. Take 5 or 10 minutes to spend one-on-one time with them. Take special notice of the milestones in their life, take pictures and make notes of these milestones. Do things with them that are special to them. Time goes by so fast and before you know it, they are grown and on their own and all you have are your memories and pictures.
That’s important advice Jean, thanks. I’m experiencing already how quickly the time goes…