GaGA! Growing and Getting Awesome… the Official Loving the Pregnant You Blog

Don’t tell others what they should do!

Pregnant woman in kitchen with friend reading pamphletWe discover approaches that work for us. Sometimes after much trial and error. And, we’re excited!! And we understandably want to let others know. We want to share with everyone we see, “Here! Here’s the solution. I’ve figured it out! You should do this…”

That’s great. It’s a valuable contribution to the community. Sharing what works for us provides ideas and inspiration to others.

  • Others may find that the same approach works for them.
  • Your ideas/approaches may spark other ideas for someone.
  • The fact that you found a workable solution may inspire others to believe they can find an approach for something that’s not working well for them currently.

So I encourage women to share about the choices they’ve made in pregnancy and why these choices have – or have not – worked for them. I’ve written the Loving the Pregnant You book to do just this. Yet, there are pitfalls…

Here are the key pitfalls that can occur in a community that shares in this way.

  • Sharing with others like you’ve got the best and only solution, believing others “should” do it the same way.


  • Listening to others like we “should” or “need” to approach things the same way being described.

To avoid these pitfalls, instead…

  • Share your choices and approaches such that others can get ideas, reflect, and choose what’ll work best for them.
  • Just share your approach and why it worked for you. Then, ask the other person what she thinks will work for her.


  • Listen for what resonates with you. Discard what doesn’t.
  • Let others know what resonates for you and why. Perhaps this will guide them in the future to share the types of ideas that will most likely work for you.

Let’s hear some examples. How have you shared your choices such that others are left you knowing that you want them to only choose what resonates for them?

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