In Debra’s family, they talk about birth. The stories are passed down from generation to generation. Since Debra was a little girl she’s known that her great grandmother gave birth to 8 kids at home. She’d work at the family farm store all day and then when she would feel that it was about time, she’d come into her kitchen, dangle herself over the kitchen sink and give birth there. It was something that was talked about and handled in a real straightforward manner. The older siblings would know what was going on and in some instances helped catch their new younger siblings as they were born when the family doctors did not make it in time. It was not something to hide from the family. It was not considered too messy or intimate to be shared.
Debra also knew that her Grandmother used a birth room at her physician’s home to deliver her mother. And, she knows her Mom’s stories and how she (Debra) was born 20 minutes after her mother arrived at her birth room in the hospital. The details were discussed and celebrated in her family. For her big Italian family, it was a right of passage!
I think it’s amazing how many mothers and daughters – let alone full families – haven’t discussed the birth process. And, for some who gave birth between the approximate years of 1920 to 1940, they might not know their birth story. This was a time when many hospitals routinely put the expectant Moms under anesthetic and they woke up after their babies were delivered from their wombs. How strange and disorienting it seems to me now.
I’m excited that more and more of us giving birth are being very intentional about what we’re creating and are sharing our full stories: including the good, the disappointing and the miraculous! Let’s talk freely and openly. What a service to those around us.
And, I get that there are still stories and aspects of our experiences that we don’t always feel safe to share. We’re not sure they’ll be understood – at least not without a LOT of context. Or we’re afraid that we’ll be judged or be the recipient of an “ah gross” face because they feel we’ve just shared too much information. Birth is a beautiful, miraculous, creative experience. It’s also a bloody, goopy, and sometimes poopy experience!
Please join the conversation: What do you wish we all talked about more? What judgments are you most concerned about if you were to share it all?
