A mother’s love is unique. Each mother finds her own way to love each of her children. At the same time, I think there are some shared characteristics.
A mother signs on for something bigger than herself.
You see quotes about a mother wearing her heart outside of her body. I think this captures the enormity of the emotional commitment well.
A mother’s role changes continually.
At first a mom is micro-managing and taking care of basic biological needs. Then a mom helps and protects a lot. Then a mother’s role slowly shifts. She needs to let go. She needs to simply support, not tell. She needs to trust. She needs to not solve problems, yet teach problem-solving. It’s a tricky job to know what kids are ready for when. It’s a constant reevaluating of what’s needed (and not needed).
There are times a mom needs to do what’s best for the child – not what she wants, not what would feel most comfortable to her.
A mother is vulnerable.
She sends her most prized treasures out into the world. She can’t fully protect them. It’s impossible and it wouldn’t be best for the kids. (Yet sometimes she really wants to…and she feels that vulnerability.) She has to trust the world and the people “out there.” “Please be kind to my babies,” she begs in her heart.
A mother loves unconditionally.
Through sleep-deprived days, through temper tantrums, through phases she doesn’t understand and desperately hopes go away, through disrespect and back-talk, through sickness, through it all… Because “I love you Mommy” makes her heart melt. Because she made this little person in her very own belly!! Because there’s nothing better than walking down the sidewalk hand in hand. Because seeing the world through her daughter’s little eyes is a gift. Because witnessing her son learn and achieve and fail without giving up is awe-inspiring. And, simply because she agreed to…
A mother is unconditional love, vulnerability, and a commitment to an endeavor bigger than herself.
What do think it means to be a mother?
Amy,
Well said! I think the constant change is so important to recognize. Not only so that you allow yourself some grace for making mistakes or not always getting it right but also for the kids. I think it’s an important lesson to teach the kids to go easy on themselves as they are learning and growing and taking on things they have never been exposed to before. It also helps us to focus on the beauty of the new and ever-changing rather than how hard and frustrating it can be!
Thanks for your insights!
Love it Keri. We want to tell our kids – and ourselves and each other! – to go easy on themselves.