I talk and write about the importance of thriving during pregnancy – of finding ways to have each woman enjoy the process of being pregnant. I spend time and energy thinking about how that happens – how we can support each woman to discover ways that work for her to enjoy pregnancy.
I realize that there’s an important question that comes before the question of HOW do we enjoy being pregnant. That question is: WHAT does it look like to enjoy a pregnancy? The answer is different for each woman and probably different for each pregnancy. How each woman “enjoys” or “thrives” throughout her pregnancy can vary greatly. I think it’s easy for us to have a stereotype about how it should look when someone is enjoying being pregnant. She wears rose-colored glasses, she never says a negative thing about being pregnant, she rubs her belly all the time, and she has a jam-packed pregnancy scrapbook. Right? Now that might be what’s enjoyable to someone. It might not be. If you look for yourself, I bet there’s some preconceived notions about what you think it looks like for a woman to enjoy pregnancy. And that might not be a way that’ll truly work for you. For you, it might look more like calling up your girlfriend after you get home from work and complaining to her, “I can’t believe they call it morning sickness, I’m sick all freakin’ day, I’m the only one sweating on the air-conditioned train because I’m trying not to throw up.” Or it may look like something in between or different than those descriptions.
Please join the conversation: How does (or did) it look for you to enjoy your pregnancy? What does “enjoying your pregnancy” mean for you?
I loved being pregnant, and what’s funny in retrospect is that I didn’t have a journal or a scrap book or even take pictures of my pregnant body. I wish I had! What I enjoyed about pregnancy was the feeling of fullness I had…and of being connected, truly, physically, concretely, to the cosmos. Always a spiritual person, but generally agnostic, it was a joy to me in pregnancy to banish all doubt from my mind about whether there’s a larger force beyond. I still may not know exactly what it is, but I know I’m part of it. I guess you could say I felt in tune with the divine.
I also enjoyed the physical beauty of pregnancy. My curves seemed to have a ripeness that only added to my sense of inherent femininity. I relished it.
I enjoyed the intimacy of pregnancy…the closeness of holding my child inside me in a way that I never would feel again. I felt protective and strong–up to the task. It was a boon to my self-esteem to feel so essential and needed and capable.
I’m not saying that there weren’t discomforts, complaints, and inconveniences…of course there were. But they were nothing compared to the joy of overall experience. I also love going to Disney World where there are lines and crowds and hot temperatures and a zillion ways to drop cash all day long, but those down sides don’t prevent me from enjoying the Disney experience. It’s how you look at things, right? And I applaud you for helping women look at the pregnancy experience with positivity. Not every moment will feel positive. Not every sensation will induce bliss. But overall, this can be and will be one of the most transformative experiences of your life. Why not try to see it with awe and love and gratefulness?