Taking great care of yourself and asking for support are really nice capacities to develop while you’re pregnant. After your child is born and as he’s growing, you’ll be called upon to tend for him in new and ever-changing ways. If we all could learn in pregnancy to treat ourselves really well, then we’d help ourselves not fall into the trap of always putting ourselves last. And, when we’re well-rested, fulfilled, and adequately nourished (and I’m not just talking about food), we are in the best position to take care of others. It’s not a selfish act to get the care and support we want and need. Being well-cared for enables us to be there for others.
Tricia hadn’t realized how much her seemingly selfish request was going to benefit her and her family. When she was pregnant with her second baby, Tricia’s husband was traveling for work most of each week and she found herself overly tired and frustrated taking care of her toddler son and the household on her own. She felt like she had no time for herself. She got annoyed enough with the situation that she forced herself to ask her in-laws if they would watch her son one night a week.
This felt like such an audacious request to Tricia. She thought she should’ve been able to tend to her family all on her own. Yet, a voice was telling her that she had to find a way to get some time for herself. So, she asked. And they accepted!
At first Tricia used these evenings to vacuum, dust, prepare meals, grocery shop, and other things that are easier to do without a toddler underfoot. Then, she started sprinkling in dinners with girlfriends, an occasional massage, leisurely walks around the neighborhood, and curling up with a good book. She shifted from scurrying around trying to check as many things off her list as she could in this time, to treasuring the slowed-down time with herself. It became an opportunity to reconnect with who she was and what she enjoyed. She felt refueled after these evenings.
Much to her delight, her family enjoyed the new arrangement as well. The bond that grew between grandson and grandparents during Tricia’s pregnancy was one that positively altered their relationships going forward. Her son knew that Wednesdays were “Granny and Papa” days. He appreciated Granny’s cookies and learned new vocabulary as he and Papa “worked” on cars together. Tricia could see that her in-laws had a new appreciation for what it was like for her to care for her son by herself during the week while her husband traveled.
Tricia learned a valuable lesson during her second pregnancy: Asking for help can create a win/win/win situation for everyone! We have to remind ourselves that others might also benefit when we ask them to support us.
And, we want taking great nourishing care of ourselves to become a life-long practice. If you’re in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and want “More Than A Quick Fix” – join us on Tuesday, July 23 for More Than A Quick Fix. You’ll be glad you did. I’m so excited about the nourishing evening we’re planning. Register here.
