After the birth of her first child, Denise felt great about her choices, and, simultaneously, she wondered what else was possible. Her first birth experience was great. She had what she’d call a “regular” hospital delivery. She went with the standard protocols her doctor’s practice prescribed. It didn’t feel uncomfortable in the moment and upon reflection she wondered if she wanted to do a different way. One trigger that caused her to reconsider her previous choices was how much her daughter slept the first two days after she was born. Denise didn’t have any evidence that this was associated with the epidural she had, yet it was an impetus for her to ponder and look inward for what she’d most like to have happen the next time. She started asking herself, “Do I want to go without drugs? Do I want a different setting?” And her answers were “Yes.”
Denise began preparing for what would prove to be another great birth. This time, for her, she felt more in the game. She was more intentional and powerful. She wanted to move around more during the delivery – and she did. She wanted to try it without drugs – and she did. She gave birth at home. This delivery felt great. And this more recent experience didn’t negate the great feelings she had about her first delivery, AND she had wanted something different this time. She couldn’t have known that without having the first experience. Her reactions and feelings about her first birth process provided data to inform her subsequent choices.
Even though we choose to do something different, it doesn’t mean that we’re saying that the first experience was wrong or bad or something that we should try and hide and not talk about. Yes, we’re proud of the second experience, but we can also be proud of the first. We had that and it’s part of the journey of where we’re at today and who we are today.
After her second delivery, Denise immediately – just 10 minutes after – began to wonder, once again, what she could do differently the next time. Again, it wasn’t that there was anything wrong with what had just occurred. Instead, it was that she had new information that might lead her to yet different choices. It’s the creative process. Denise just kept accepting her experiences and then asking herself, “What’s next?”
Please join the conversation: Is it possible that two very different choices made at different points in time could both be “right”? What are your thoughts and experience?
