When we become pregnant for the second time, we know all that we know about our first pregnancy. We know how we felt about certain things, how we dealt with any concerns we had, what excited us, what we focused on, how it felt to be pregnant and how it was to deliver a baby. We know what choices we made and we know how those worked out for us. We may have a mental list of things that we will do the same and definitely do differently the second time around! It can be an extremely empowering place to be. We have information about our personal thoughts and feelings that we can leverage!
For example, Lisa learned that she can question what seem to be standard practices. It seemed that many people operated under the assumption that if your labor was induced that that then meant that you’d be having an epidural. Lisa questioned this and she was induced at 42 weeks without any pain medication. This experience has her considering a home birth delivery for her second birth. (She’s not pregnant yet and she’s already looking at what will feel best for her!) I love it.
I love it so much that I was forgetting another piece of the picture. And that is the concept that every pregnancy can be unique. (Not necessarily, yet possibly.) There is an element of the unknown every time a woman embarks on this journey.
I’m currently pregnant with my second child. I’ve recently realized that I’ve been operating under the general assumption that everything went great last time, so everything will go great this time. I certainly won’t experience anything undesirable that I didn’t experience last time. This is an empowering context – no doubt. And, I can see that I’ve been ignoring some pestery concerns underneath that. I don’t know that my pregnancy and delivery will go like they did last time. I expect them to AND I’m not certain they will.
It has been useful for me to see this and admit to myself that I have anxiety. Anxiety is normal. I’m accepting my uncertainly and expecting the best. I believe I’m better able to do this when I look concerns in the face, get that my concerns are there – they exist – and they are normal.
Please join the conversation: So, I wonder… When is it powerful for us to come from a “beginner’s mind” and admit that we don’t know how it’s going to go? When is it powerful for us to focus on what we do know and leverage that to make powerful personal choices?
