The book – Expect the Best while You’re Expecting – will suggest to expectant mothers that they pay attention to their thoughts and feelings as they make choices around their pregnancy and childbirth. This is asking women to listen to their head and their heart. How does that work?
Many of us, I believe, tend to look to one more than the other. Either we think our way through choices or feel our way to our choice. We engage one side of the brain more than the other.
Those of us who look more frequently to our heads (that’s me!), can feel (or should I say think) that we have to have objective rationale, cause-and-effect logic for our decisions. I’m too often thinking about how I would defend my decision to others: What are my reasons? Do my reasons make sense?
And then when I really stop and connect with myself, I say (to myself), What does it matter what others think? Or even what I think? Does this feel good? I had the experience not too long ago of explaining to a business banker that I didn’t take out a business line of credit last year because it didn’t “feel good” at the time. Whew, it took something to say that in an environment where I assume that logic outweighs feelings as a gauge for decision making. And, doing it I felt free, like a rebel…there was something exhilarating about it!
I suggest that engaging both are heads and our hearts is a way to truly be at peace about our choices. Engaging both and processing what there is to process in both arenas, I believe, can get us there. Let’s consider a current example in my world: My gut tells me that an epidural is the way for me to go. I was so ready for it during my first birth process and I want one with my upcoming second birth process. When I go to my head, however, I get concerned about what others will think. I assume that people think that someone who is authoring a book about expecting the best while you’re expecting would be someone who would do an at-home drug-free birth. I am not that person. There is processing for me to do here to quiet the disempowering thoughts in my head. When I fully look at the concerns swirling in my head, I know I will find peace.
Please join the conversation: Do you tend to look to your head or your heart when you make choices? How does that work for you? What would you gain if you engaged the other more?
