Last week I traveled to an organizational client site to facilitate a workshop in which participants received a comprehensive feedback report filled with perceptions from their managers, peers, direct reports, and other co-workers (360-degree assessment feedback); and I played a dual role: I was a facilitator/coach and I was a participant who got my own feedback.
My feedback told me this: I’m seen as being great at building relationships and listening (whew!) and that I’m seen as not being as assertive and influential as I could be (hmmm).
I see it. There are times that I become a “watered-down” version of who I really want to be. This isn’t SO terrible, it’s understandable. It’s human nature…and it frustrates me. Why do we do this?
There could be many reasons. Here are some of mine:
- I’m afraid to offend people
- I’m worried others won’t agree or like me (BIG one)
- I’m concerned that I’ll be seen as too opinionated
- I’m afraid that I’ve got it wrong somehow
- I think I might overstep my bounds
I’m sure there are more! What keeps you from unapologetically sharing your view? When and why are you not able to move forward confidently in the way you’d most like to because you’re concerned, worried, held back by something?
There are, of course, times that we need to consider how our actions will impact others. We do want to deliver our messages and views with tact and appreciation for the fact that not everyone is going to agree. And…that doesn’t mean that we can’t say what we want to say or do what we want to do.
I’m committed to noticing where my concerns and insecurities get in the way of me stepping forward courageously. I’m committed to not watering down my messages.
Is it time for you to go for it? In what way and why?
